Ever ask your son or daughter “How was school today?” and they reply “fine,” or “good?” I know my kids do! Here are some other questions to ask to help you get conversation going.
- What made you laugh today?
- What did you do during gym/math/recess/lunch?
- Did your friends say anything funny today?
- Did you learn anything useful today?
- Who did you see in the hall today that you don’t usually see?
- Did anyone wear funny socks to school?
- Which of your teachers should be on the show What Not To Wear?
- If you had to hang out with one of your teachers, which would it be? What would you do?
- How would school be different if I shadowed you all day?
- What happened at school today that you wish you could change?
- What is a good thing that happened at school today?
- Did anyone wear a funny t-shirt?
- Who did you sit with on the bus/at lunch? What did you talk about?
- If you could be the most popular, most athletic or the smartest kid in your class which would you choose and why?
- How is this year different than last year?
- Are there any rules at school that you think are unfair?
- If you were on a game show and the questions were about the things you learned today, what questions would they ask?
- Did you learn something today that would be something I don’t know?
- Was there anything at school today that was distracting?
- What do you think your teachers were like as kids?
- Who is your nicest friend? Why?
- If you could relive today what would you do different?
- If you had to choose a song to describe your day what would it be? (Movie, book , etc.)
- If you were the teacher what would you have done differently today?
- Give me ten words to describe your day.
- Did you doodle anything cool on your notebook today?
- What would be a good question for me to ask so that I don’t ask the question “how was your day?”
Some important things to remember:
- Listen to your kids, notice themes, people, and problems; ask follow-up questions in the future.
- Do not interrupt!
- Do not over-react or make snap judgments about their friends or teachers when listening to your child tell you about their day; it will make your child think twice about talking to you again.
- I tell my kids right up front that I am going to keep asking them questions until I get the amount of information I am looking for. (I do this in a joking manner even though they know I am not joking)
- Pay attention to what your son or daughter is excited to share about and ask questions relating to that subject in the weeks to come.
- Use reflective listening. For example: So when your teacher called on you, you felt embarrassed. Wow, I would have been embarrassed too.
- If they have had a really bad day and don’t want to talk about it initially, respect their wishes. Give them some time to process and calm down and approach them later.
- You are both learning a new pattern of behavior; be patient. Start small and work to increase the conversations a little more each week. Your child is not going to go from one minute of conversation to fifteen in a day.
- Model good communication by sharing part of your day.
- You know your child the best, get creative and think about what interests them and tailor questions that would best fit your child.
- Don’t try and have a conversation right before they are going to do something, they will try and rush through it. Choose a time that is convenient for both of you. Dinner is a great time.
- Set aside a special time to talk. (I take each of my children out to breakfast once a week)