How to Navigate a Miscarriage or Infant Loss with Your Partner

Losing a baby is never easy. You shared life and even looked forward to bringing a new baby to the world. The sudden loss of such precious moments and the lost bond between parents and growing baby can take a toll on anyone, even the strongest ones. It can get so bad that the parents often slide into depression, and others experience permanent mental damage if not handled correctly and with the urgency it deserves. This is when the parents need all the love and support they can get from loved ones and others around them. However, going through such trauma may require a specialized approach and even include therapy and counseling. Knowing how to navigate a miscarriage or infant loss with a partner will go a long way to ensure you heal. Read how to do this effectively below.

Support One Another

The grief may overwhelm one partner more than the other. You will both be sad and crushed about it, but there is a possibility that one of you may be hurt more. While you cannot compare the pain level since people hurt differently, the important thing is to support one another when it is hard. Be there for your partner and let them know and feel that they can find solace in you because you understand the pain. This can be different for different people.

While some partners want you to listen as they explain and cry about the pain and disappointment, others need you to reassure that they are enough and that the miscarriage is not their fault. Learn what your partner needs and offer that. You may not heal the pain or ease the trauma completely, but it hurts a little less knowing that someone you love is willing to take this journey with you. Be careful not to offer support that you think is best but concentrate more on your partner’s needs.

Stay Away From All Discussion about the Miscarriage

Women are specifically very vulnerable after losing a child. It is a constant reminder that they may have failed, which is enough torture to them. Every woman looks forward to holding her baby, so this does not happen often leads to thoughts of self-criticism and sometimes regret. They are probably thinking about something they must have done wrong or events that could have led to that fateful occurrence. Realizing that the lady is already fighting a losing battle and bringing up the miscarriage only adds to the pain. Be the supportive partner that does not bring up the subject since the lady may feel even more condemned. Instead, listen to them talk about it and support them by reassuring them that it is not their fault.

Think of Coping Mechanism to Do Together

There is so much a couple can do together after such a traumatic event in their life. First, however, focus on activities that positively reinforce one’s spirit and general health. Think of activities you both like and consider reviving old hobbies that made you happy and calm. Such action will slowly bring back the joy you once had when life was free of all sad moments. Slowly, this can be a powerful yet natural way to heal and recover from such a blow. Of course, it will not happen magically or overnight, but it sure is a step in the right direction.

Let Them Suggest Trying for Another Baby when they are Ready

Nothing makes losing a baby harder than someone pushing you to try for another child. People face their worst fears differently and at varied paces. The best you can do as a supportive partner is wait until your partner is ready to bring the subject again. This could take a few months or even years but never rush them. The attachment they may have had to the lost baby is something you can never really fully grasp. Let them mourn and make peace with the fact that the baby is no more and that they are ready to try it again. Therapy can help since the counselor will help you two mentally and emotionally. It would be best if you only tried for another child when you are ready for the possibility of any eventualities and not because you are fueled by the need to replace the lost child.

Accept that You are Hurting

Some partners tend to focus on their spouses more and forget that they lost someone they loved. This may lead to emotional detachment and isolation. In worst-case scenarios, it sometimes turns into inexplicable dread and hate. Seeing your spouse suffer because of a pain you could not control can take a toll on any human being. Accept help if you want to support your partner better. Visit a psychologist if you have to. Remember that you need to be in a great headspace to support your spouse better. If these feelings are ignored, they can slowly turn into resentment, and you may not know why you are avoiding your spouse for a mistake they did not commit.

Take Your Time

People process grief and pain differently. The duration to recover from the shocking trauma is unique for every person. Allow your spouse to take their time and grief. The best you can do is show them that life has to go on without feeling frustrated about the whole process. Listening helps a lot, and putting yourself in their shoes can help you see things from their perspective. This will help you feel more empathetic and supportive since you can see it from your spouse’s point of view.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with a child loss, whether through miscarriage or stillbirth, is one of the most painful things. All the joy of waiting for the new family member slips away and is replaced with pain. The best you can do is support your partner and show them that you care and understand everything. Try your best to stick with your spouse until the storm passes.