8 Ways You Can Avoid Shame and Live a Healthier Life

Shame is a feeling of humiliation or embarrassment resulting from a conscious knowledge or perception of wrongdoing. A cause of shame could be as simple as failure to meet societal expectations or as complex as childhood trauma. If left unchecked, shame can make you feel unaccepted or defeated in life. Given that shame is a derivative of specific actions, many people prefer keeping what they are ashamed of hidden. But, hiding it only makes things worse. Covering up your issues can make you feel trapped in life and relationships.

When shame persists, so will the feeling of being trapped. Consequently, your personal growth will begin to slow, and your relationships will be disrupted. You can become increasingly self-critical and have destructive feelings of unworthiness. You can also start making choices that will prevent you from living your best life.

Fortunately, you can make several changes in your life that will help you avoid shame and live a healthier life. Self-compassion is one of the changes you can make in your life. Essentially, self-compassion is being alive to your own distress and having a desire to help yourself. What else can you do to avoid shame and live a healthier life?

1. Have Courage to Confront Shame

Confronting shame will make you uncomfortable. This is because you will be attempting to do what you are not used to doing. Muster enough courage to let go of the discomfort and journey towards freeing yourself from shame. Be open minded and curious throughout the journey. As you do this, you should prepare yourself for any pain that might arise from the process. Prepare your mind and heart for mental and emotional pain, respectfully. Tap into your self-compassion to help you with the process.

For instance, when you make a mistake that will cause you to be ashamed and self-critical to yourself, you can courageously confront it by first recognizing the feeling. Secondly, you can tackle the feeling of shame by slowing your breathing. Third, tap into your self-compassion and use it to stabilize your emotions. Finally, remind yourself that you are humanly capable of making mistakes. If possible, correct the mistake and proceed with your plan.

2. Understand Your Shame

Many people tend to avoid shame instead of trying to understand it. While shame might be painful, understanding it is crucial in healing from it and avoiding falling victim to your shame. To understand it, you need to:

• Define what shame is to you.
• Its cause in your life.
• How it feels to you.
• How it manifests in your mind and thoughts about yourself, as well as your past.

To avoid getting consumed by your shame, you need to withdraw from your normal thought process. This will allow you to assess yourself objectively without falling victim to your painful experience brought by shame. In addition, this new perspective will allow you to study shame, research more about it and know what it is.

3. Determine What Causes Your Shame

Like any normal conditioning, shame grows and develops in your mind. After a while, it takes over your heart, mind, spirit, and body. Understanding the root cause of your shame is critical in dealing with and avoiding any future cases of shame. You might have been conditioned to feel ashamed of your intellect or body or who you are as a person. Find the cause of your shame and begin working against it instead of avoiding it. For instance, you can convince yourself that the shame you are feeling does not determine who you are as a person.

4. Understand Your Physical Response

Typically, each emotion has a physical component. To completely understand shame, you need to know how you experience it in your body. Finding out the physical effects of shame on your body can be hard because these impacts have become too familiar. Even so, you can do it by silently focusing all your attention on your body. Pay attention to areas of your body with physical numbness. The aim of this act is to become aware of the physical effects of shame on your body. Therefore, you don’t need to act on it. The feelings of shame and its physical effects on your body will begin to disappear as your awareness increases.

5. Practice Self-Compassion Using Affirmations

Using affirmations to win over the self-critical voice that keeps putting you down every time you make a mistake is a good way to practice self-compassion. Do this by replying to every negative idea your self-critical voice puts in your head. For instance, if you think of yourself as less worthy, counter this thought with a conscious thought of worthiness. Tell yourself you are worthy enough times that you believe it to be true. Affirmations will help you appreciate yourself more and save you from the self-doubt that comes with the feeling of shame.

6. Avoid Isolating Yourself

Shame can make you isolate yourself. It gives you a false impression that no one is interested in you. You also become judgmental and critical of others. Being aware of your need to isolate is critical to healing and avoiding shame. Instead of isolating yourself and judging others, you should accept your feelings of shame and allow yourself to be vulnerable. This will allow you to form a good relationship with yourself. You will not push people away or become critical of them. Instead, you will embrace them and be more available.

7. Don’t be Afraid to be Vulnerable

While vulnerability might not be construed as the ideal state of being in the current world, it allows you to be completely free with yourself and the people around you. It frees you from the need to hide. Fighting what you feel and know to be true causes you to suffer. Embracing it gives you peace. Being vulnerable and accepting your feeling of shame allows you to move forward with your life.

8.   Open Your Heart to New Possibilities

Shame limits you to a state of emotional distress. It keeps you in a place where the heart is broken and stuck. Open your heart to possibilities that surround you. Pay attention to things that excite you and engage yourself in activities that make you feel better about yourself. Interact with people and give them an opportunity to experience who you truly are and not who you want them to believe you to be.

Shame can prevent you from realizing your true potential. It is discomforting and limiting. Avoiding it is essential in achieving a healthier life. Use any of these strategies to avoid shame and live a better life.