How to Find Self-Compassion If You Are A Caregiver

Taking care of the elderly is one of the most fulfilling jobs you can do. You may be committed to caring for your loved one or work in the caregiving world where you attend to the needs of ill and older adults. Whatever scenario you may be in, caregiving requires compassion and love. This is a challenging job that can take a toll on caregivers, especially when dealing with stubborn clients struggling with mental or physical issues that cause them to be violent or misbehave towards you.

However, due to the nature of the job and the fact that most caregivers have a loving spirit, caregivers stick on and help those who need them most. Unfortunately, caregivers tend to forget themselves and even neglect their well-being in the process. For some reason, they do not extend the same compassion to themselves, yet this is the best way to keep serving without any future regrets. But how does a caregiver nurture self-compassion?

Acknowledging Their Feelings

Most caregivers suffer because they struggle to understand how difficult it is to watch their loved ones suffering. It can be shattering to know that certain hard decisions have to be made even when they are not what the patient wants. Even when you are not the one handling the case, the mere fact of having to sit back and watch another caregiver handle the most challenging decisions on your behalf can be painful and leave you feeling helpless and hopeless.

Many caregivers suffer in silence because they cannot acknowledge their struggles for what they are. It is essential to normalize such emotions of fear and helplessness and even voice them since this is the first step to seeking help.

Caregiver Burnout is Real

It is admirable that you want to be there always for your loved one. However, pushing yourself too hard can interfere with what you are trying to achieve in the first place. Give yourself time to recover from any fatigue related to caregiving. The more you attempt to outrun it, the harder it is to recover from it. The best thing to do is to acknowledge the challenge and make plans to deal with it.

Know which signs to look out for to verify that you are indeed struggling with burnout. The moment you have trouble concentrating, are suddenly neglecting your responsibilities, or feel an increased resentment toward the person you are caring for, you need to act fast. This burnout can also show up as overeating or drinking, irritability, and unexplained anxiety, as well as sleep issues. It is also possible to develop new health issues or suffer more complications from pre-existing problems.

Practice Daily

Self-compassion is not something you learn and master overnight. It takes deliberate daily practice to cultivate this level of compassion. You need to learn and unlearn many things that could be hindering your freedom. Un-teach yourself from viewing self-compassion as selfish and instead embrace it as something that makes you human and natural. With time, you will discover that self-compassion is not synonymous with self-indulgence but is simply an ability to acknowledge and honor the fact that you are human.

It helps you acknowledge your failures as a caregiver and enables you to understand how best to improve and better yourself in this job. It allows you to be vulnerable enough and extends a little grace to yourself at your worst moments of helplessness or when all you hear is self-condemnation. To overcome such hurtful feelings, one needs to deliberate about their self-compassionate journey. Accept yourself and work on self-improvement every day.

Understand What You Are Dealing With and How to Get Help for It

These are two different skills, but both are equally important and need to be prioritized by caregivers on a self-compassionate journey. Since you accept being vulnerable, you will identify a few shortcomings that need to be addressed. Know what these are but don’t stop there. Always seek professional or expert help from people who can help you. No matter how uncomfortable or difficult it is, always ask for help when you know it is time to.

Final Thoughts

Self-compassion is not something easy to achieve. It is even more taxing when the person in question is a caregiver accustomed to serving others and not themselves. However, service to others can quickly turn into a burden that brings resentment rather than the fulfillment you once had without self-compassion. So, extend yourself the much-needed grace and begin your journey to self-compassion.