Interviewing Your Intentions

If you are a born procrastinator, you’ve likely spent a lifetime hunting for a surefire formula to start, stick to, and finish your biggest goals. You may also have noticed that your procrastinatory habits have an uncanny ability to morph, effortlessly transitioning from one anticipated goal to a totally different one.

Take writing a blog as an example: we can truly enjoy the writing process. At some point after embarking on it as part of a career, we can learn to do it without a lot of fuss. Yet when it comes to exercise—something we know is critical for healthy aging—we can possess a remarkable ability to generate elaborate excuses.

That is because knowing you should do something isn’t the same as wanting to do it. Wishing for effortless results doesn’t mean we are lazy; it usually just means we haven’t found the right motivation.

That is where Chris Bailey’s book, Intentional: How to Finish What You Start, comes in handy. Writing with endearing self-deprecation and deep compassion for the habitual procrastinator, Bailey offers fresh tools to add to your personal “do-it” arsenal. His core strategy? Interview yourself about your intentions.

To understand how to do this effectively, we turn to Dr. Elizabeth Barnet, an expert in “motivational interviewing”—a powerful form of counseling that helps people find internal drive. Combining Barnett’s expertise, Bailey’s insights, and our own counseling experiences, here are seven pointers to help you cross the finish line.

7 Tips to Help You Finish

1. Ditch the Willpower Myth

If you’re a persistent procrastinator, stop believing that all you need is more willpower. Willpower is a finite resource that drains your daily energy. Instead of white-knuckling your way through temptation, change your environment.

A personal workaround: I used to offer my leftover snacks to my brother (who possessed the rare ability to eat exactly two M&Ms and stop). It was my way of bypassing my own willpower. Another trick? Never shop for groceries when you are hungry.

2. Practice Self-Motivational Interviewing

You can absolutely use motivational interviewing techniques on yourself. The secret, Dr. Barnett explains, is to lean heavily into your “change talk”—your personal why.

• Ask open-ended questions: Instead of focusing on how hard a task is, ask yourself: “If I were doing this consistently, how would it feel in a month?” or “What are the top three reasons I want to be healthier?”
• Listen to your answers: Include your emotions and values in the conversation. Your answers will reveal your true, intrinsic motivators. Once you find them, map out a tiny, manageable step forward.

3. Gamify the Unpleasant Parts

Almost every goal includes tedious, aversive tasks. To compensate, alter the task to trigger a flow state (where you become entirely absorbed in what you are doing). Bailey suggests “gamifying” your actions. By raising the stakes or adding a minor challenge just enough to make it feel like a game, you naturally increase your drive to keep going.

4. Align Goals with Deep Values

Your intentions must be anchored to your deeply held values to survive the long haul. When your goals conflict with who you are, your motivation will tank.

A personal workaround: Early in my career, getting marketed overruled everything else. But when an editor altered one of my blog paragraphs to say the phrase in a different manner—something we had definitely not done—I realized my writing style was incompatible with their expectations.

5. Separate Your Effort from the Outcome

Accept that you cannot completely control or predict the ultimate results of your work. Writers, creatives, and entrepreneurs must learn this early: you can execute a project flawlessly and still not reach a goal if it relies on other people needing or wanting what you created. Focus on mastering your effort, not guaranteeing the external response.

6. Protect Your “Focused Hours”

Be fiercely realistic about how much deep focus you actually have in a day. Bailey notes that he has about four hours of deep work in him. Keep your daily goals congruent with your actual capacity. Four hours might even be a stretch for some—but remember, even one highly focused hour a day compounds into massive achievements over time.

7. Know When to Let Go

At some point, look at the goal you’ve been avoiding and ask if it actually matches who you are right now. If a goal is fundamentally unrealistic for your personality or your current season of life, give yourself permission to drop it. Let yourself off the hook—completely free of shame or regret.