Coping With Loneliness Over the Holidays: A Guide for Adults in DuPage County

The holidays can feel bright for some and painfully quiet for others. If you’re reading this in DuPage County, maybe in Wheaton, Naperville, Geneva, or nearby we want you to know you are not alone, and your feelings matter. At Stenzel Clinical, we’ve worked with many adults who feel disconnected during the holiday season. This guide is written with practical, evidence-informed steps you can use right now to reduce the sting of loneliness, stay grounded on difficult days, and reach out for connection when you’re ready. For information about our locations and how we work with adults in DuPage County, see our office and service listings.

Why the holidays make loneliness feel worse

Holidays bring strong expectations of togetherness, celebration, and family warmth. When reality doesn’t match those images, the gap can deepen feelings of loss, regret, or isolation. Research and clinical reports show that holiday loneliness often comes from a mix of unmet expectations, social comparison (what we see on social media or through others’ posts), grief, changes in relationships, and practical life changes like moves or job shifts. Recognizing these forces helps you treat the feeling like something that happens to you not something that is you.

A three-step approach that actually helps

You don’t have to “fix” loneliness all at once. Start with three practical steps: plan, connect, and care.

1) Plan small, meaningful things to look forward to

When the calendar feels empty, create structure. Put low-pressure events on your calendar a coffee with a neighbor, a walk at Cantigny Park, a short volunteer shift, or a movie night with one friend. Planning builds micro-appointments with life, which gently interrupts loneliness. Aim for realistic goals you can keep. (Small wins matter.)

2) Connect in ways that fit you

Connection doesn’t have to mean a full house and forced cheer. Try one or more of these:

• Reach out to one trusted person and say, “I’m feeling lonely could we talk?” A single honest conversation can change your day.
• Join a local activity or group for a shared interest (books, walking groups, volunteer teams) to meet people with similar rhythms and values.
• Attend community events in DuPage County or local church/center “surviving the holidays” groups that focus on grief or transitions. These spaces can be less pressured and more accepting than family gatherings.

3) Care for your body and mind

Loneliness often amplifies when we skip sleep, eat poorly, or spend too much time scrolling social feeds. Build a short daily self-care list: a nutritious meal, 20 minutes of movement, and one calming practice (breathing, a short walk, or a 5-minute grounding exercise). These basics help your brain manage intense feelings so you can act on what you need.

Practical tools to use on the day itself

Holiday days can flip quickly from “fine” to “overwhelmed.” Keep a portable coping kit:

• A list of 3 people to text or call when you need a check-in.
• A small ritual you enjoy (lighting a candle, listening to a favorite song, making a simple treat).
• A plan B for the day (a public place to go for a walk, or a volunteer shift where you can be around people with light interaction).
  If grief is present, consider “permission rituals” brief ways to honor loss without forcing cheer (lighting a candle, sharing a memory in a journal). Northwestern researchers and clinicians emphasize planning and self-care as core strategies for holiday periods.

Use volunteering as a two-way gift

Helping others is a powerful antidote to loneliness. Volunteer roles create predictable social contact, reduce rumination about your own isolation, and bring a sense of purpose. DuPage organizations run seasonal programs delivering meals, hosting community dinners, or making friendly phone calls to older adults that welcome one-time and recurring volunteers. Volunteering can also be a gentle first step back into connection when social energy is low. For local program ideas, check DuPage County community services and area senior councils.

If you live alone: build “intentional routines”

Living alone doesn’t have to equal loneliness. Try:

• Scheduled check-ins: set one weekly 20-minute call with a friend or relative.
• Shared rituals: agree to watch the same movie with a friend and text about it or cook the same recipe and share photos.
• Micro-community: invite a coworker for coffee or offer to host a short, casual get-together with clear time limits so hosting doesn’t feel overwhelming.

Programs run by local nonprofits for example, friendly phone programs and well-being checks are specifically designed to reduce isolation among adults and older community members in DuPage County. Using those resources is a strength, not a weakness.

When loneliness connects with grief, loss, or mental health struggles

The holidays often collides with grief a lost relationship, a changed family structure, or the death of someone close. Those kinds of loneliness are intense and meaningful, and they deserve compassionate attention. If your loneliness comes with pervasive sadness, trouble sleeping, hopeless thinking, or thoughts of harming yourself, reach out for licensed help or emergency support immediately. National and local resources exist to walk with you through these moments. Therapy is a space to process grief, set strategies for difficult days, and practice new ways of staying connected. Our team at Stenzel Clinical offers both in-person and video counseling to adults throughout Wheaton, Naperville, Geneva, and online. If you’d like to explore therapy, we’re here and available.

Simple communication scripts to try

Sometimes knowing what to say makes reaching out easier. Here are short, safe scripts you can use:

• To a friend: “I’m feeling lonely this season and could use some company. Would you be open to a short call or coffee soon?”
• To a neighbor: “Hey I’m planning to walk around the neighborhood this Saturday. Would you like to join?”
• At a community group: “I’m new here. What’s one thing you like about this group?”
  Using specific and time-limited requests increases the chance of a positive response.

Reduce comparison and social media pressure

Seeing curated holiday posts can intensify loneliness. Set a social feed limit for holiday weeks, unfollow accounts that amplify comparison, and replace scrolling with a small, nourishing activity (reading a short poem, a mindful walk, or a five-minute breathing exercise). These small boundaries protect your mood and help you stay present.

Create a “holiday plan” you control

You don’t have to conform to someone else’s picture of the perfect holiday. Decide what matters to you:

• Which events will you attend, and which will you skip?
• Which relationships need boundaries (time limits, topics to avoid)?
• When will you check in with a therapist or trusted person?
  Setting these intentions before the season begins gives you agency when emotions rise.

Local resources and next steps in DuPage County

DuPage has several community programs that address social isolation and support older adults and adults in transition. County community services provide program listings and referrals, and local nonprofit efforts (like friendly phone programs and community meals) increase during the holidays. If you’re looking for immediate, local options volunteering, friendly check-ins, or group events DuPage County’s community services and DuPage Senior Citizens Council are good starting points. For mental health support and therapy in the area, Stenzel Clinical offers in-person and virtual appointments in Wheaton, Naperville, and Geneva.

When to reach out for professional help

Reach for professional support if:

• Loneliness is accompanied by deepening depression, suicidal thoughts, or substance use.
• You feel stuck for weeks and your daily functioning drops.
• You want a consistent, safe space to process grief or relationship changes.
  Therapists can teach coping tools, help you rebuild social supports, and guide you toward community resources. If you’re unsure what to do next, a single session can help you map a plan.

A final note from Stenzel Clinical

Holidays often show us what we value and sometimes they show us what’s missing. Whatever you’re feeling, take one small step toward connection today: a text, a call, a volunteer sign-up, or a brief self-care practice. Those steps add up. If you’d like help planning those steps or processing complicated feelings, we are here to walk with you. To learn more about our services, locations, and how to schedule an appointment, visit our website or call our office. We’re here with you.