When choosing a therapist, it is important to consider their Areas of Practice. specializes in:

When choosing a therapist, it is important to consider their Areas of Practice. specializes in:

When choosing a therapist, it is important to consider their Areas of Practice. specializes in:

Please read Part II here

With the latest data from the American Psychological Association, the medical community notes that anxiety and depression are top-ranked for what brings individuals into the office. Nowadays, it becomes an inevitable certainty that you’ll find statistics showing that human misery is on the rise in the developed world. Those who have been depressed, anxious, addicted, angry, self-destructive, alienated, compulsive, worried, insecure, shy, stressed, workaholic, and avoidant of intimacy all give testimony to this conclusion that: suffering is inevitable and a common feature of human life. The ubiquity of global misery in suffering has continually increased its influence in the past decade. Whether it might be related to recovering from a cancerous invasion of the body and not being able to sleep at night, pressing through more waves of bitterness and callousness toward a spouse due to patterns of negativity within the relationship, or perhaps being permanently disabled after a traumatic accident – circumstances continue without relent to produce powerful emotional responses related to life events. 

Post-traumatic growth 

After interviewing many that survived combat overseas, serious bereavement and illness, and aversive life hardships after becoming refugees in exile, psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun coined the term “post-traumatic growth” in response to witnessing the powerful benefits and personal developments toward positive outcomes for these individuals. Those that experienced “positive life changes” involved acquiring new skills, abilities, and capacities that they did not previously know had existed from within. Depth in relationships along with an all-encompassing satisfaction in how they related to others as well as with themselves increased, and intimacy was part of the reward in their post-traumatic growth. 

Dr. Richard Tedeschi affirms that, “We’ve learned that negative experiences can spur positive change, including a recognition of personal strength, the exploration of new possibilities, improved relationships, a greater appreciation for life, and spiritual growth.” Whatever form the negative life experiences took, these individuals endured their own dark night of the soul where their previously held life values were profoundly incinerated in the furnace of their suffering, and meaning-making pursuits were accelerated within the track of their current circumstances. 

Many psychologists agree that suffering can create an indelible mark, a permanent imprint on the canvas of the human soul, that no other context can readily produce. These positive outcomes include a spiritual integration of being filled with gratitude for living the life they currently have, experiencing a newfound sense of purpose and life meaning, and gratefulness for enduring such hardship. Intense well-being, personal freedom, and a new vision for life are part of the gold that result from the refiner’s fire of base metal and alloy in suffering. Suffering has been internationally recognized as the catalyst for tremendous growth. 

Lebanese-American author and poet, Khalil Gibran, describes the finer taste of joyfulness in suffering and reflects that, “The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” In the launch of this new decade, we have continued to witness hundreds of thousands of deaths and millions impacted by a pandemic, historic rates of unemployment, and the global decline of an economic engine to drive humanity forward in progress and achievement. These are sure markers of both a personal and collective sorrow that maintains long-term consequences for individuals, communities, nations and their organizational infrastructures. In the aftermath of the novel coronavirus outbreak that demands personal resilience along with the racial fractures and the moral outcry of a generation, many are called into both the vision and action for personal growth and development.. Our current events invite us into a posture of introspection, active curiosity, reflective dialogue, and the offering of compassionate feedback in the community. Suffering and misery will be seen differently through the lens of post-traumatic growth. 

Here are several areas to press into for realizing your post-traumatic growth: 

Rethink who you are and challenge core belief structures

Reimagining how you operate, think, and innovate in new circumstances of a global health and economic crisis will benefit how you maneuver through this season. Anxious and repetitive thoughts can pervade while they challenge our current beliefs and assumptions: What can I do right now? Who is in control? Why did this happen? Many of us thought that, in a westernized developing world, we were safe from the impact of diseases and bad things that typically only occur in other parts of the world, and that our healthcare system and economic engine were able to weather any significant storm. After several months into this global season of the pandemic, we now need to challenge what we believe instead. This will be important to weed out subtle personal inefficiencies and improve upon our innovation to endure challenges. 

Access emotion regulation

In the personal and collective vortex of negative emotions, it becomes important to shift thoughts that lead to these mood states and rightly frame the losses, uncertainties, worst-case scenarios, and failures of this global season. Enduring the crucible of a setback involves managing our emotions and re-focusing upon best-case possibilities, personal resources in place, and accessing an internal readiness to weave through these tough emotions. Seeing one another’s emotional strengths will encourage a collective unity and develop a heartfelt poise under these pressures. You can read more here

Share your story

It can be altogether liberating to understand and acknowledge the various effects of this global season on market volatility, job loss, and economic and health decline on the lives of those around us. Speaking and sharing openly about your own struggle and how you are navigating the uncertainty of this global season will invite others to share their stories and locate difficulties while mutually press through any of these challenges. Articulating thoughts on the effects both individual and organizational, small and large, short and long-term, personal and professional will be important in this process of understanding the suffering while turning to more productive reflections with others. 

Understand your narrative development

When confronted with memories of the suffering and misery of life events, we are invited into writing an authentic narrative that chooses to accept what has already been written as well as imagine what will occur in the future in more constructive ways. Your personal life story can also help lead others to a better future and maintains reflections in questions as: How has this suffering caused you to recalibrate your life priorities? What new possibilities and opportunities arose from it? Look to historic and personal examples of individuals that emerged strongly from the crucible of their miseries and study and derive hope from their life narratives. Remind those that are connected to you to do the same in this global season.

Empathize with others and serve

The current research literature of post-traumatic growth indicates that helping people closest to us in the broader community of events similar to what we have endured will lead to greater benefits and positive outcomes in the aftermath of human suffering and misery. Being empathetic and helping others to reframe their situations can assist in your own emotional regulation. The post-traumatic growth model causes individuals and groups to express compassion and empathy toward others and better challenge how they view this pandemic and its fallout either as a severe tragedy or as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. You can read more about the role of empathy here

Creating room for more growth

In many ways when we choose to respond from a growth paradigm of its effects, suffering invites us to become more fully in contact with our humanity while transforming us into a richer, grounded, and spiritual individual. Suffering can truly enhance appreciation for its paradox: loss and gain, grief along with gratitude, and raw vulnerability intermingles with strength. Suffering remains as part of the human condition, and we can observe how individuals and their families typically have chosen to respond to suffering in the past. 

Suppression maintains a tendency to be the first choice response. Suppressing the suffering tends to only deal with the negative ill effects and painful feelings for only a bit of time before it begins to manifest again with more force and repercussion. Often, these suffering individuals turn to substances and other people to turn off their misery, but rather than feeling the pain they numb it and distill its effects instead. From the foods consumed to prescription medications taken, relationships pursued to listlessly keeping busy, there are a myriad of circumstances that individuals attempt to lessen its effects and not feel their feelings. Really, there is an unending amount of options related to numbing the pain and suppressing its effects. 

Many call a secondary option as “owning the pain.” Whether it was in the experience of sadness, in light of a personal tragedy, or in the loss of a loved one  – feeling the pain associated with the suffering and taking ownership of these emotions will allow the individual to move toward healing and acceptance. In a progressive and authentic manner, feeling the pain of its effects and owning them can assist individuals toward more healing and recovery, and eventually move forward from the suffering itself.

Growth is ultimately part of the outcome in the suffering within the third response. Individuals learn from the experience, grow, and integrate thoughts, memories, and emotions associated with their suffering into their life story. Some in the medical community call this self-knowledge; it becomes the narrative that they rehearse about themselves and share with others. The pain and healing journey will position these individuals to move toward healthy decision-making and a values-driven lifestyle for the remainder of their lives. There are many benefits from pressing through the pain of suffering rather than suppressing it, and your personal resilience is a high-priority issue to navigate within our current global season and becomes mission-critical as we enter the final quarter of this new year.

Individuals learn from the experience, grow, and integrate thoughts, memories, and emotions associated with their suffering into their life story.

By Deepak Santhiraj, Licensed Clinical Social Worker

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