How Friendships Change Throughout Teen Years

The process of growth involves changes in what we like, who we like and what we find interesting. Along with these are changes in who we consider friends. This is a normal part of growth for both adults and especially for teens.

Friendships evolve for many reasons. Teenage years are the years we find ourselves and what we like. We make life-altering decisions such as where to go to school, if to go to college and how we choose to relate with the law.

As a parent to a teen or a teen yourself struggling through the motions of friendship, it is important to acknowledge that friendships grow and evolve naturally. It is important to take stock of friendships that need to be changed, abandoned or worked on.

Read on to find out more about friendships in teenage years, their dynamics as well as how to best maneuver them as a teen or a parent of a teen.

Why Friendships Change

Influence

Children tend to hang out with people they find influential to them. These may be older siblings, neighbors or people they perceive as cooler than them. Through the years, what they find cool, who they think is better than them and the people they view as mentors’ change.

New Environment

As children change their environments such as schools, churches and playgroups, they find and meet new mates who inevitably become new friends. Spending more time with these new groups of people creates new friend groups for teens.

Common interests

Children make friends based on common interests. It is not uncommon for play to be a uniting factor. Through the teenage years, interests change depending on age and personal preference. These preferences create new interest for teens and re-define their friend groups.

Areas Of Concern to Take Note of During Friendship Changes

Difficulty Making New Friends

Children should and tend to make friends easily. If you notice your teen struggling to make and keep friends, there may be a problem. Some of the reasons maybe they are shy, introverted or have low self-esteem. Try and listen to why they find it difficult and how you can help. Creating situations where they can meet new people such as social clubs or sports may help your teen find friends. Regular play-dates may also boost their ability to create meaningful, lasting friendships.

Jealousy

Your teen may feel jealous after a change in friendship often signifying that they cared about the friendship deeply. You can help them gain their confidence back by allowing them to vent out their feelings of hurt. Remind them that they are still important and worthy of love.

Losing friends

If your previously jovial child is suddenly aloof and losing friends, there may be a problem they are not telling you. A good way to get them to open up is to create situations where they are most comfortable to talk about what hurts them. You may also consider seeking professional help with professionals who are familiar with teens.

Signs Of Unhealthy Friendships

Even the best of us suffers from unhealthy friendships once in a while. Teens, being young and inexperienced may suffer more because they do not have the insight to know how best to maneuver these situations. Here are some things to teach your teen that will help them spot an unhealthy relationship from a far.

Constant Bickering

Fights are healthy. Constant fights however, are a sign of an even deeper problem. Healthy friendships for children should be characterized by constant communication and trust. Teach your teen that while fights are inevitable, constant bickering is a red flag that should be addressed immediately. In the same breath, your teen should understand that friendship is a two-way street that requires they give in the same measure they expect back.

Constant Drama

Teenage years have their fair share of drama. Constant drama however, is a major red flag that should not be ignored at any stage of the friendship cycle. The best solution to drama is to step away from it.

Control

A good friendship should not be based on control. Every participant is equal and should be treated as such. Anytime your teen notices or feels they are being controlled; they should step away.

Healthy Ways to End a Friendship

Create boundaries

Your teen should be able to create physical and emotional boundaries. Some examples of physical boundaries are spending time apart, choosing to distance themselves and emotionally choosing what they can or cannot take at a time.

Assertiveness

Teach your teen to be assertive. They should learn to say no and mean it. Their word should be final and firm. It is important to note that assertiveness is a skill that takes time perfect. It is perfectly ok If they fall short every once in a while.

Conclusion

The human nature and its relationships evolve. This is natural and should be embraced. Teens should be taught to accept that the path of growth will be characterized by loss of friendships and formation of new ones. What is important is to build character that is able to maneuver the cycles and transitions.