When choosing a therapist, it is important to consider their Areas of Practice. specializes in:

When choosing a therapist, it is important to consider their Areas of Practice. specializes in:

When choosing a therapist, it is important to consider their Areas of Practice. specializes in:

The other day, I was talking to someone I know and I was encouraging him to see a therapist regarding some conflict he is experiencing. His response was, “Why do I need to talk to a therapist?” He spoke about how he has a good relationship with his children and with his wife. There are no issues at work. He spoke about how he is not isolating, staying in bed all day, or not taking care of himself. His basic premise for why he does not need to talk to a therapist was because he is functioning just fine, but he missed the main point of my recommendation. His response made me wonder how many others are thinking along similar lines. After all, his reasoning isn’t completely flawed given the bias that exists in mainstream culture.

To be honest, his reply to my encouragement gave me the idea for this article. If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say, “I’m not crazy, I don’t need to see a shrink” or “I’m not psychotic, why do I need a therapist?” I would be rich. In fact, I am working with a teenage client right now who has told me something along these lines every time I have seen her for the past 7 sessions. For one reason or another, there is this connection between seeing a therapist and “being crazy” as she puts it. The message I often hear from mainstream culture is that only “dysfunctional” or “messed up people” see therapists. There is a negative bias towards mental health in our culture that is widespread.  I hope this article helps break down this bias just a little bit and the misconception of seeking help from a therapist. There are two main misconceptions that I want to briefly explore. The first misconception deals with the “type of people” who seek therapy and the second misconception deals with when people need to seek help.

Breaking down the misconceptions

The misconception of people needing to be “crazy” or “dysfunctional” to seek therapy is simply false. Actually, I would say it’s the opposite. Most people who are experiencing a manic episode or a psychotic episode would probably not seek help at all because they might not recognize their emotional state and think they are fine. Most of my clients are high functioning individuals who are business owners, managers, leaders in their place of work, or even high achieving students. We are all born with something called resilience. The way I explain resilience is how much emotional distress can you handle. Think of it as a glass being filled with water. At some point the glass will overflow if the water is being poured constantly into the glass. When the water overflows, you have reached your breaking point. It takes self-awareness to recognize that your glass is being filled and you need to take action to prevent it from overflowing. Recognizing your limitations and seeking help before things get out of hand shows your attunement to your emotional state.

The second misconception about therapy deals with timing. The question is, when do you seek help? Will you be proactive or reactive? First of all, there are times in life that can catch you off guard, but you can still respond in a proactive way. For example, say a close family member dies unexpectedly. Although you could not predict a sudden loss, you can still be proactive. If we think about the grieving cycle we know that depression comes towards the end of the overall grieving process. The therapist can help you learn skills to manage your emotions before they become too intense. The goal of therapy is not to change what you are feeling, but to help you manage and navigate through the complex emotions that come with a grieving a loss. Addressing issues before they become unmanageable or overwhelming requires courage and strength.

There are other times in life when people allow conflicts to grow inside emotionally for many months or even years to come. Most of the time, conflicts within relationships often do not emerge overnight or after just one fight. Perhaps your way of addressing the conflict was to avoid the other person. Isolation can cause conflicts to flare up. Living under a stay-at-home order for almost three months now can cause tensions to flare. Perhaps you are realizing there are some unresolved conflicts that need to be addressed. When left untreated depression and anxiety often get worse. Avoidance and isolation are two factors that can increase the severity and duration of depression and anxiety.

When to seek help

Last but not least, here are 3 reasons for when an individual needs to seek immediate help. One can call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room to seek help. If you are not sure you can call, text, or chat online with a trained individual at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

Phone: (800) 273-8255

Online: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

When to seek IMMEDIATE help:

  • Thoughts of suicide or an attempt at suicide.
  • Thoughts or actions of hurting others.
  • Self-harming behaviors (cutting, burning, or hitting self to cause deliberate pain or injury).

I know I have talked about this before, but I love Stenzel’s tagline: Find Hope, Live Well™ As long as you are alive and have breath, there is always hope. Why wait to seek help until the last minute? Why go back to how life used to be. I use the phrase “new normal” all the time with my clients. Seeking help from a therapist allows for a professional to walk alongside you as you work towards creating a new healthy normal. It’s okay for you not to be on your A-game during this time. Seeking help does not mean that you are crazy, psychotic, or that your life is falling apart. In fact, it shows resilience. Seeking help means that you recognize that you might be struggling in one way or another or you recognize there is room for improvement.

I want to encourage you to seek help if you are struggling emotionally through this COVID-19 pandemic. Maybe you just need to process your emotions with someone for a few sessions to help you through this pandemic. Perhaps this pandemic is helping you realize there are some underlying concerns that need to be addressed. No matter the reason, we are here for you. I came across this song a few months ago. It’s called Almost Home by Mercy Me. I hope these lyrics bring you hope to continue to persevere through this journey and remember, you don’t have to walk alone.

Well this road will be hard. But we win in the end.
Simply because of Jesus in us. It’s not if but when.
So take joy in the journey. Even when it feels long.
Oh find strength in each step. Knowing heaven is cheering you on.

“The misconception of people needing to be “crazy” or “dysfunctional” to seek therapy is simply false.”

Alex Goreham, Clinical Supervisor, Therapist

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