Finding Margin in Our Lives

Do you feel that you are constantly running on empty? That you are constantly running to the one thing after another? Do you find yourself constantly late to things in your life? How about forgetting important dates, or about the family and friends in your life?

If one or all of these apply to you, it can mean that you are struggling with margin in your life. You are juggling too much. If you look at your calendar, how many tasks are written on there? Making sure to take time to find margin in your life will not only benefit you, but the people you surround yourself with.

Finding Balance

No matter how minor or massive your struggle is, you are not alone. Many people struggle with taking on more than they can handle. We often try to figure out how many things we can shove into 24 hours. As humans, there is a need to stay busy and because of this we often find ourselves doing too much. We may have 30 minutes between tasks, and we still try and fit more in. People often feel more accomplished when they complete more tasks. However, it’s important to slow down and evaluate the cost that being constantly busy has on our lives and mental health.

Making sure that we are not being lazy and ignoring responsibilities is important, but so is finding a balance. In today’s world, many of us have lost that balance. Children are doing way too many activities at once. When my children were growing up, I set a rule that they could only do one sport or activity at a time.

For example, my son played soccer growing up. During high school, I decided to let my son break that rule and sign up for both soccer and volleyball. This was quite the chaotic time in his life. He learned that it was difficult to keep up with both schedules and that they often conflicted with one another. This was a learning experience for him about margin, and how difficult it can be to manage doing two things at once.

Where Is Our Focus?

People today are so focused on events and tasks, that they start to neglect people. And not just casual acquaintances, but the people who are the most important parts of our lives. No one wishes on their deathbed that they had done more, but rather that they had spent more time with the ones that they loved. It is okay to stop and smell the roses. How are you spending your time? With your family, spouse, children, friends or neighbors? Or are you spending all your time at work? Humans are relational beings and need to spend time with others.

Sometimes we need to step back and say “what is the most important thing in my life?” Is it being as productive as possible or is it spending time with loved ones? That’s not to say that you need to completely drop work for your family. After all, we work to support them, but maybe they need a little more of time as well.

It is important to set healthy boundaries with work. You are allowed to step away from work once in a while. As an entrepreneur and counselor, I work around 40 hours every week. I do not work more because I have realized that there are more important things in life. I have a wife and kids to spend time with, and I prioritize spending time at church. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love my job and the people I work with, but I realized that I needed more balance. Everything in life is better now that I have margin. I have the emotional energy left because I am taking time off. I socialize with family, neighbors and friends. I take time off work for vacation. I looked at my schedule and figured out where I could find margin. Can you do that? Are you able to take 15 minutes and do nothing? Or take that 15 minutes and call a loved one?

One Less Task

Can you do one less task a day? Does your calendar always have to be full? Learning to say no is an important step in finding margin. Earlier this summer I wrote an article about the positives of saying no. I once heard Ron Zapia of High Point Church say, “Good things become bad things when they crowd out the best thing.” Even when we are volunteering or giving back to our community, doing too much hurts not only us, but the people around us.

An old axiom I love says “do few things and do them well.” Most of us are unable to do 30 different things well, so prioritize the ones you CAN do well. Are you able to take the time to be present and mindful? What are some things in your life that are not essential and can be cut out?

Enjoy your life. We are human beings, not human doers. Learn to be present and enjoy every moment, because often we find ourselves living for the future moments, instead of the present ones. There is no such thing as multitasking. You might think that you can do many things at once, but that is a lie. Psychologists have done much research on the concept of multitasking, but the evidence supports that it simply is not possible. Doing one thing at a time helps us to focus, and actually allows us to get through tasks quicker. If you are struggling with margin and would like someone to walk alongside you, let us help.