Dealing with Irritability During COVID-19

Let’s be humble and honest: COVID has been hard for all of us. I’ve noticed that I am much more irritable at times. I have been short-tempered at work, impatient with my family, and even fallen victim to road rage. How can we acknowledge that this irritability has affected all of us and take active steps to try and remedy it?

Acknowledge Your Feelings

It is okay to feel more annoyed than usual during this time. It’s common knowledge that when humans undergo a large amount of stress, our tolerance for distress lowers. Think of distress tolerance like a bucket that fills up based on what is going on in our lives. When we are more stressed, there is more water in the bucket. During COVID, our bucket has probably been half-full from the get-go! Then you add work, health, family, friends and other general life stressors, and the bucket gets even more full. The fuller the bucket becomes, the easier it becomes for water to splash out.

If I am walking around with this big bucket of stress, the little things in my life will make that water splash over the edge. Have you ever found yourself getting irritated at someone who truly did not deserve it? Consider that it wasn’t actually because of something they did, but because your bucket was already close to full. Right now, we’re all carrying a lot of extra stress with us. For example, say you get home and your spouse makes a comment that usually wouldn’t bother you that much, but you go off on them. It’s not that the comment was so hurtful that you had to explode, it was just the last drop in that bucket of stress.

How do we work to remedy this situation? First, you need to acknowledge it. Many of us have been trained to ignore our stress and tell ourselves that it’s not a big deal. Instead, admit that you are stressed and remind yourself that it is not weak to feel this way.

Next, look at what you’re using as an outlet for your burdens. Be careful not to take your extra stress out on those around you who do not deserve it. Try to remind yourself to be patient and kind, and admit that you are struggling to deal with that full bucket. Finally, go and apologize to the person you blew up at because they did not deserve that.  If you explain to them how you are feeling, chances are that they’ll understand that you didn’t mean to hurt them.

Make Time for Self-Care

Work is always stressful, but right now it’s more important than ever to make use of time off to decompress. Making time for the things that are healthy and fulfilling for you is almost a necessity right now. Participating in hobbies and leisure time, a nice hot bath, catching up with a friend, some alone time reading a book; whatever it may be that empties your bucket.

It’s also good to open up and talk to someone you trust. Having someone who cares about you listen to your distress can help calm you down. This can be a partner, a friend, or anyone in your social support network. Or talk to a counselor; we are always here to help.

Focus on the Positives

Another thing you can do is analyze the stress and try to talk yourself down. A good place to start is to sit down and ask yourself, “what am I stressed about right now?” Once you finish thinking about it, ask yourself if these are the things you should be stressed about. This will help you normalize and validate your feelings. If a big project is due at work or you’re struggling to keep up with the demands of family life, admit to yourself that this is a stressful time for you.

After that, turn to gratitude. In fact, keeping a gratitude journal is a great way to ease your burdens. To start, try writing down three things every day that you are grateful for. It’s a wonderful way to start seeing how much positivity there is in your life, and it works to combat impatience and frustration with others and things we cannot control.

This might be difficult at first, but it’s your brain! It will go in the direction you tell it to. If you focus on the negatives, you’re filling your bucket with more water instead of dumping it out. Our response to stress is much more important than the circumstances that caused it in the first place. Charles R. Swindoll has a great quote about this that says, “Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.”

If you are struggling with getting the water out of your bucket, please reach out to us. At Stenzel Clinical Services, we have over 40 trained clinicians who can help you deal with the stress in your life. You are not alone, and there is always hope.