Understanding Emotional Privilege

What comes to mind when you hear the word privilege? When most people think of the word, they might think of socioeconomic status or race, but what about emotional privilege, family privilege, or neurological privilege?

The Invisible Handicap

Mental health is often an invisible handicap. It can be easy to see people who struggle with depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety and other disorders and not immediately think there is anything wrong with them, because they might seem “fine” at first glance. It is harder to understand what is going on inside their brain. Before you judge an anxious person as “high strung” or a depressed person as “lazy,” consider that they are struggling with something that you do not understand. Try to extend sympathy and empathy towards those with mental illnesses.

For example, people who suffer from depression often face a lot of well-meaning advice from friends, loved ones and even strangers about lifestyle changes they can make to help themselves. Someone who is neurotypical might make the suggestion that they go to the gym more, spend more time with family, or eat better to help cure their depression because to them these are all easy tasks. What they’re not considering is how hard it can be to do anything beyond the basics for survival for many people suffering from a mental illness, and that getting to the gym even once that week might be an achievement for them.

Neurotypical

Counselors have started using the word “neurotypical” instead of the word “normal.” The switch has come as part of a push to be inclusive, and not make others feel left out or hurt by being “not normal.” Normal is a city in central Illinois. Neurotypical is defined as “not displaying or characterized by autistic or other neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior.”

Everyone has gone through different experiences and has their own issues. If you were brought up in a generally neurotypical family, you may not understand disorders, struggles with addiction, or eating disorders. It might be beyond your comprehension currently, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t learn.

Privilege 

We often do not realize the both the neuro and emotional/family privilege that we have as someone with a brain that is not chemically disordered, or someone who made it to adulthood without experiencing trauma. It is easy to say that we’ve overcome a lot in life while continuing to judge those who have had much harder lives. Those who struggle deserve grace, mercy and understanding. Every person has their own personal struggle, regardless of relationships and past experiences. How can we learn how to be more compassionate and empathetic towards people with various mental health disorders? Before you judge someone, ask yourself “in what ways am I emotionally or neurologically privileged?” Know that you do not know what struggles most people have been through in life. It is arrogant to think that you would handle their situation any better if you were in their shoes.

As counselors, we want to help those using empathy and understanding, not use guilt and shame. Everyone has unique hurts and challenges. If you are struggling with a mental disorder, an addiction, a broken family or past trauma, please, let us help. Our staff is trained in a variety of different areas to be able to walk alongside you in whatever you are struggling with.